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There is a live cobra loose on the streets of Cleveland. Police are laughing, but afraid, and don't know what to do. One policeman wants to shoot the cobra, but he is told not to by the captain. Another policeman tries to capture it in a bucket. He runs away laughing when the bucket hits the cobra and the cobra hisses and slithers up the street. The police don't want to kill the cobra because it is beautiful and strange. They find an ad in the Yellowpages for Dan the Big Snake Man to deal with the snake. He advertises "muscles as hard as diamonds," but insists "ladies only." A lady police calls Dan.

Dan is an illegal gigolo and he is so afraid when he arrives and finds cop cars that he agrees to catch the snake. He forces it into a pillowcase using a shovel. He leaves in his '99 Chrysler LeBaron, vanity plates HOT2TRT, and take the cobra back to his apartment. He leaves it in the pillowcase in the bathtub for an hour, but his curiosity is too great, and untying the pillowcase, he is bit twice by the cobra and dies. The police never talk about it when they find his body and the cobra's, trapped inside the bathroom, because they know what they have done.